Yea.....I'll probably end up doing it 72 hours from now.
Fuck life.
What's pissing me off today? Fake people. People who act like they care about you, but don't want to be bothered with you. Or rather, I should say, people-that-care-about-you-from-a-DISTANCE. Prime example: My mother and my baby cousin. We have not seen her for 6 months, since her father, my uncle, was trying to seclude her from us, and her mother did no better, because she goes wherever the money is. On top of that, she's a ratchet, pathological liar who is the type to blaze while my 4 year old cousin is in the next room. She's a sorry excuse for a mother, and my uncle is no better. He's been in and out of prison so many times, he can't tell if he's free or still locked up. Mind you, WE took care of her for 2 years, while both of those ex-cons served time, and this is how he shows his gratuity. This is why I don't talk to niggas if they served more than one year.
Fuck that.
My mom acted all happy to see my cousin, after "I" continuously called, weekend after weekend, trying to get her. I finally drove up there, and her mother so happened to be outside, and I pressed her about it. I was able to pick up my cousin the next day. A week later, after this situation was an obvious exhibition of "Don't take life for granted", here comes my mom with the bullshit. First it's hug-and-kisses-I-love-you-you're-my-baby-forever, and now it's oh-you-wanted-her-down-here-so-you-go-get-her-something-to-eat. Her justification? I've been watching her lately. Mind you, I've watched her the last two days, including last week, where I missed 3-4 days in the gym watching her. Which I didn't MIND, because I'm not going to put weights over someone I love with everything. Well, I had to drop her off tonight, and then my mom is "When-do-you-wanna-come-back-down-I'll-pick-you-up". My cousin said tomorrow, and my mom told her to call her. As bad as this seems, I told my cousin on the ride there that my mom wasn't going to pick her up, and doesn't love her like she says. I also told her my mom wasn't going to change my room into hers when I move out. She's just lying to her. My cousin loves my mom, so of course, she said I was "nervous" because her and my mom was a family lmao.
I just don't like to see people sold dreams, especially little kids, because they don't know any better to question it. They'll just believe it. Who knows if my mom will pick her up, but I do know one thing: Every man for himself.
I really, really want to look out for my mom, and put her on when I achieve success, but things like THIS, is what makes me want to leave her in section 8 housing, still trying to fight for justice, for the city, with the other ass-backwards revolutionists who protest the wrong things.
Who has family members that would rather take care of the fruit growing off of the tree, than than the actual family tree itself?
Fuck ya'll.
- Dreadful
August 2010
R.I.P. To Ajayi Hollins.
